Wednesday 7 August 2024

how not to do edinburgh fringe

 maria tea

how not to do edinburgh fringe
1. dont come here with ur phone not workin ie no wifi. dont top up again and again asking friends to top it up from greece- then realise when u get back in greece in september that u had ur mobile data off.
2. dont make flyers on time. dont try to make them when ur there when u just get so overwhelmed that ur skills that sucked before now suck further. dont copy paste cos it will show u something from previous years. it s called magic
3. dont fuck ur friends- 
4. dont know who u are. u are who u are and we r all capable of anything. would u suck someone off till they made u a flyer- yes. embarassing
5. dont know who to be. no problem. just be who u be. i am now sat in a sofa- trying to relax from what felt like an early stroke navigatin canvas- 
i had a canolli for two pounds- fair. now i m middle class- back in my seat
6. dont shit urself. that said- dont wear a onesie before ur show cos u may not make it in time. 
7. dont cry. hahaha. that made me laugh.

my show - clownfish- is at burrito n shake every nite 23 15 but wednesdays- part of pbh free fringe 

Thursday 9 March 2023

Nostradamiss

 

Nostradamiss

So here s the thing

A while ago= can t remember how long n can t remember where

I d read this say wats the word- cc theory- u know like underground stuff

Conspiracy theory

That was talkin about how this government s role- im talkin about Greece-

This Greek government we currently have- its role was to basically create a revolution- so then there d be an imposed European military force-

And this is how it begins- in my opinion-

There s an article here where it s kinda introducing the idea of European concern

Οργή λαού που "έσεισε" την Ευρώπη - "Αντιμέτωπος με τις μαζικότερες διαδηλώσεις της δεκαετίας ο Μητσοτάκης" (msn.com)

It s all in Greek but the originals arent

So im just sharing this theory here and just to say- it s not mine- but I believe it.

I m also kinda thinking I don’t wanna be here I don’t think when the shit hit the fan. Im not sure how it s gonna be- I suspect there ll be even more corruption if that s possible- and a bit of a dubai aesthetic.

So – Lisbon- here I cum.

x

Wednesday 11 January 2023

john de maya

 

The scarf I m wearin

I had a look

At the brand

And it says I love my scarf

Mine was

I love simon I love ties

Lovely

N all

An atelier

An art studio

A shop

A project space

Shut the fuckin door

Okay now winter s comin

We need to plant the seed of consciousness to people to SHUT THE FUCKIN DOOR

Lovely

Thank you all

It s an international project

For an international problem

Wot is this tho

Is it not obvious

Two different temperatures

Two different worlds

A door

Indoors n outdoors

Why is it the door

That at their house their door is firlmly shut

So this is what I m suggesting

We follow them to their houses

N take down the door at threre am

Oor

Put firm signs on doors

I ll properly fuck you

 

This dude was the worse

He walked in

He waited for his order

Left the door open while waitin

Five minutes later he walked out

N shut the door

Mind u

The whole time he was standin right beside it

God let me respect

N forgive n understand

Human consciousness

For i

A human soldier

Okay I got a good one

Reinforce positive behaviour

Like in dogs

So

If u shut the door behind u

There ll be a blow job down the line

Kay

Ready to share 😊

11 1 23

Wednesday 23 November 2022

can we

 

 

 

Can we be a little less angry at cancer n a little bit more angry at the way it s bein treated?

I wonder

We do still have 2000 cancerous cells in our body

And we r doin relatively well

So to speak

So my cousin died yesterday of cancer

And I wonder

Could there have been a better solution other than the mainstream?

All these people that die of cancer- isn t it an indication that some shit don’t work?

It s okay to fail- it s my field- in  a natural clown way

In this situation tho it s the cancer treatment that is failing us

It s not about the doctors

Or the hospitals

Or the money one has

It s about the treatment that  s being followed- that seems to be quite similar

So it s that I have a problem with

And im glad you made it- or ur sister or the people you know- I know some success stories ie cancer survivors

But surely we can agree- there s a lot of failures

That s it – there s no punchline

Just two people that I know died- over the last month-

One of them was rich-

23 11 22

Thursday 13 January 2022

put it in words

 



so im tryin to use nvc non violent communication in order to put in 

in this instance i m talkin about the vaccinated vs unvaccinated war zone

so here s my understanding

the vaccinated have a need for empathy, understanding and compassion for the fact that they did have the vaccine

the lucky ones in my opinion are the ones that believe the vaccine is good for them, as well as the good of humanity

the not so lucky ones are the ones who complied with the rules and regulations, and had the vaccine because they were either foced to by their job description, or they made this choice in order to live a sort of normal life

there r s a hell of a lot of reasons for both -vaccinated- categories to be angry

they may feel  betrayed by the rest that didnt do the vaccine

they may feel they did it in vain- as the whole plan for this to work was if everyone got vaccinated

they may feel angry as this isnt quite normal - yet- and there s a lot of limitations in that they still have to wear masks, things still close down, there s no music, there s lockdowns in various places around the globe, etc

they need our compassion for all these reasons, and more i havent mentioned, but they are huge inconveniences- ie schools close, money, baby sitting arrangements if you are a working parent, i m not even sure who i m talking about as many people in places like greece where i am, they barely get by on a good day with unemployment, low wages etc

so compassion is the word.  Do you feel sad and angry u got vaccinated for all the above- if the answer is yes- then i do feel very sad and angry too- that u feel like this. Do you feel u made a sacrifice, in order for this society to move through these dark times?  I am genuinely sorry.

Do you get frustrated now that mr novic nocovis or what s his name will go to the cafe un vaccinated, where u had to do it in order to go to the cafe?  This is a really oversimplistic view but it s kinda the tip of the iceburg.  I dont know if mr novic will go to the cafe, but i certainly know i cant, as i am, indeed, unvaccinated. And i would love to go to the cafe. And i cant. 

So, i dont want to speak much for the unvaccinated, i just want to highlight that the inconvenience at this point is big for me as well. I am in no position to live a normal life, for all the reasons a vaccinated person can not, as well as extra reasons, such as entry to pretty much anything in greece u have to have a vaccine- or three, as it happens.

So from my point of view, the unvaccinated people may even say that i - and other people like myself- have caused this lockdown.

And they may be right. 

So what do u suggest?

Anyone?

One suggestion would be that we all get the vaccine, we come get dragged off our beds and get vaccinated in our sleep- see southpark and hiv hilarious episode-

Okay, and say this happened. There will of course be a number of doses of this vaccine, so there will be an ongoing situation. Until everyone is persuaded that the vaccine is good for them, and they are ready to get vaccinated whenever necessary, i suspect this will be the situation we are living in- today.

The bummer is that i will not be persuaded. So perhaps it s okay for the vaccinated people to hate me at this point. There may, however, be a point where the vaccinated people get fed up with all this and hop the fence to join their unvaccinated brothers. Even though we will still be the ones to blame for this shambles. And the more doses the vaccinated will take, the more hate there s gonna be. As they will be vaccinated say twice, but they will have the rights of me- the hairy unvaccin. 



Wednesday 8 January 2020

ox elato



right
a lot happened and it s not my office
that s wy
it s not my office
cos ur office is there for u
u believe it
u better believe it
but i didnt have on
i hear u ay
it s a thing
a thing well aid
and u know rusiah
anyway
the small print
the small print it s important
the small print can be my print
oh yeah
dis claimer
take the dick out
of disclaimer
kai u know russiah
instagram
yeah i guess another thing
and another thing
i should get instagram
to get anywhere
with a thing
a thing called russiah
russiah
russiah
russiah
russiah
ka lo ri fer
kai u know it s a thing
a thing well said
russiah

instagram
instant gratification
triftis
ap ti plevra tou karotou
why is that so funny
sooo funny
a joke well said
a joke well
said
ti tou ida
erxomai
pou??
in the land of and happiness
oh dear he thinks he pulled
dont
no seriously dont
dont
den thelo
den thelo
den thelo
den thelo
apodesmefste to xoro ston upologisti
den thelo
to xoro
to xoro
to xoro
to xoro
to xoro
to xoro
to xoro
to xoro
to xoro
to xoro
i need space
say somethin original
how do u wanna do it
break up
get pregnant
so u say u go
okay i go
okay xorizoume
okay im pregnant
come again

okay i m pregnant
okay im in love with ur cousin'
nooo

okay im pregnant
okay i was gonna say shall we get a puppy but hey
okay well said
it s a thing
a thing well said

i wanna go first
u go
okay i m goin
it s kinda what i wante dto talk abouot
okay
go


okay bue
yeah i kinda need to share this
i need to be with myself
alone
-right


fave by far

ur my fave
by far


ahhaha
okay sorry

comedians breakupcalll
fifty ways to leave ur comedic lover

ur so funny
it s just that

ur so funny
is just that
i already have a vagina


okay

ur like my only friend

without a penis


okay

so
let s get serious

do u feel this relationship works- meets ur needs?
cos i - i- im like- russiah-
i dont
okay so
let  s break up
okay
who takes the bed
the bed
who takes the piss
okay so we split
bills n all
i live in the kitchen

right

okay so
im with u
or without you
and
and it s like so
shoo
sorry
sorry sorry sorry so desparately sorry
so u r like how
annd why
and fay dana way
the break up post cards
post post break up post
hey u got a letter
a letter hypothesis
it says
break up
or break down
or do both
for a while
and i m like
how
why
and u r like
make a song
make some cheese
it s a thinng
a thing well said
dont break up at christmas
it s a song
it s been done
i m like yey
egsactly
inspirati9on
im like
ur statin the onvious
im like
wait till easter
reserrection
cross
it s relevant
it s summer
it ll go down sooner
there  s no netflix
the weather
yeah but
u can go to la in the winter
is a ll shit
and everyone s on drugs
anti depressants
and you
oh u
u ll survive
like a cockroach
ur from london
ur only friend
is already dead
ahh





Tuesday 9 July 2019

jew fuckin lie


who are yuo
waht am i doin here
 the funeral
put the fun back in the funeral
and htis my friend
is quality of life
lie
it s gonna be fine
like a mother fucker
lie
to myself
to u
to all
it s a thing
it s a think
it s mainly a thing
a think of all thinks
have a n actual blast
it ll be fine
with no tomoro
it ll be all right
it ll be all right
so in the hood
in the hood
in the hood
in the hood
in the hood
in the hood
in the hood
in the hood
it s gonna be fine
it ll be fineare you happy my love
are you fuckin happy
ahts it like
u cnt deal with success
it ll  be fine
it ll be fun
it s gonna be all right
im quite a ll right
we r quiet all right
it s all quite all right
i dont neccessairily want a baby
or do i
or is it

sadly im always right
u know u can do the grand gesture and bring wife n kid home
and u can live happily ever after
it s a thing
a thing without sayin
and u know
i feel gutted
but
somethings are beyond me
and beneath me
and im floating away
in the knowledge
that everyone s needs can get met
and i ll fall in love with another
cos that s a strategy
init


so it s a thing
life is
and in this case
we need a father
a mother needs to fall in love
father too
kid needs protection
we can all co exist under one umbrella
location wise
money is made in athens- in this instance
i could do the app with the cab hire a papaki- pap- papapap- papap
papaki app
we can solve the money problem
i can go to venice
it s not all very dramatic
mother
im sorry u had to meet someone i will now break up with
dad too
it s ridiculous
and the likes
sweet love mother fucker
it s when u cry and ur like
wil it ever stop
and it does
cos we r resilient
im just cryin
we just need somethin]
creta can contain me
the pain n the gain
n i can fall in love wth a mother fucker
it ll be shit foor two weeks
but u ll be fine for the rest of ur life
it s a thing
well said well fuckin said
it s a thing well said well fuckin said
wel l fuckin said
babes
i m breakin up with u
i can t fuckin do it
i ll fill my need for love with another man
and u fill ur need for love with the woman u ve got a baby with
it ll be easier for everyone involved
i believe i know it s true
it ll be easier and it ll be fine
and if she gets everything she needs she wont complaint
she needs security like everybody else and the situation wasnt ideal
so im sure we can all figure a way of fillin our needs
and we r good to go
i ll fall in love with someone in hania
i ll bring my dogs
i ll miss u but it wasnt mean tot be
even if we have a child together- it ll be a loss for this one
u can t be in two places at once and it ll be a bit of a shame- cosnidering i dont eeven know if i want to be in this situation
so i d bring my family in athens – paint the house- and get some nicer lamps
it ll all work out like a mother fucker
love u lotz
up yourz
xx



cos u know- if u can t tell the one- u can tell the world