i want it

I can honestly say that I want some heroin

I want it

I don’t need it

Which is good

May as well

I wont take it

I wont even try to get hold of it

But it s good to know

Good to say I ve reached that point of desperation

It s a good thing

I ve been desparate for too long

Without a studio

Without a meaning in life

No place to work

Nothing to call work

Nothing to call back to

Benefits England

I m crying and I m looking out the window

I feel desparately happy

In a nice way

But desparately

Is written allover it

Is like a call for life

Is like love

Luv

Tasting my own tears

Of dismay and desperation

I felt really guilty today with xxx

It broke me

I couldn’t do it

He doesn’t want to

Fair enough

He gets me

In a way

In a way he s reading my mind

It can t be happening

This relationship

I suppose

Like a confidant

It s just not working

But sex wasn’t working

Believe it or not

And as we ve established

I m not assertive enough to treat people on sex

And I need someone ready

Readily defined

To know what to do

I can t tell u what to do

But I can say

Do a tenth of what u r doing

I nearly got out of bad sex accidents

And I m happily out

Out in it

Out of it

In the bliss of blissful lovemaking

With ian

I mean why be ungreatful

Sex is all u got

With xxx I don’t know why but it couldn’t work

It couldn t work

Too many control issues

He bites his finger nails

He can fuck off

He doesn’t get it

It s fine

I mean

I ll chill out a bit in the whole friendship thing I suppose

I suppose

I can live with xxx

I could live with xxx

He s too nice

He s got nice friends

He could live here with them

I could live with two boys

Yesh

It would be great

But with the music

Yes that could be a problem

I feel much better

I feel the worse is gone

Or yet to come

Duno#

Imagine

If I did take heroin

I would have moments like these

I will google the whole hyper sensitive thing

And I ll get back to you all right

X love u lots

Ready to go

X

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