the break up call

Last nite I had the break up call

Long before

In advance

Ha

How silly

I believed in u

Well

Im lookin at four birds goin up and down the roof

To spectacular

Whatever signs u got

They r already there

So he wasn’t really listening

To that

Anyway

It was silly

And annoying

Like an echo

Like a conversation with no commitment

No connection

No joy

And no purpose

Well

So far so good

It was air

Fumes

It s all right

Its got to be done

Should I have been in a better mood

I would have enjoyed it more

I enjoyed fightning

In the end of the call I had lines on my face

I got scared

I looked old

So no

Not a good idea

On a different level

I felt it probably need to be done

Ye I m aware of the mistake above

It s conscious

Can u make a conscious mistake

Is it a mistake

No

It s a move

It s the wrong move

But if u take time to think about it in advance

Is it wrong

Or is it

28 10 16

new relationship

We fuck and we don’t fuck each other up

Any other relationship

Let s say the least

Discontinued

So friends

That s why I m without a fuck

Mind u

I m a mind addict

A fuck addict

I don’t mind

I care

I give a fuck

It s all very complicated

Dash interconnected

I couldn’t live without it

If I tired

And I did

And shit did happen

Wrong conversations came up

It s like quality of sleep

A different kind of sleep lack

A sleep deprivation

A feeling of incontinuity and reslteessness

Of how to be wrong

How to be

Just be

For a minute

Just shut the fuck up

A feeling that ur winning

Not

Ur taking over

Ur mind is crippling away

Like a rollercoaster

Like a soaked death

The spirit

It doesn’t like it

It s just there

Unattended

It really isn’t there

It s just gone

Evaporated

I mean

I ll shut up

Im bored

And that s the thing

I m never bored

Bored lacks me

It disintegrades

Im just not there

Im not feeling it

I m gone

I may as well be dead

But I don’t want to

Swallow hard

Something like that

22 10 16

dash

Got to dash

No one says dash when they kill themselves

There s something positive about it

Gotta dash

Seems that I m in a good mood playful enough

Dandy

Am I pretendin

I gotta dash

I m tryin to avoid u

I m English

Where did jonny go

He had to dash

I m goin somewhere

What do u think happened

He had to dash somewhere

Crash is different

Can I crash here no

U can crash at mine

Means let s fuck

Till tomoro

Got to dash means it was a one nite stand

It s been emotional

Ur ugly

Dash u r too fat

Dash im married

Till tomoro

Dash

Mm

Got distracted

Dash uninterested

Dash scared

That book club

The word sounds so dry

Dry is horrible

No I don’t like that word

The h word

Dry is something that doesn’t apply cos it gives it a lot of character

It was more ironic

Were here

We speak from the heart

But we haven’t got any

Ye weird

I can not be bothered

I cannot

Like the scotsh

Anyway dash

As a verb

Fits the bill

That s what I m doin

Here

6 7 16

double up

Double c

It s always nice to watch a woman politician bein a cunt

It s like when u wath joan collins in the role of a bitch

U know she s not a bitch

It s just a role

Similarly

With thatcher

Or this one or the other

U kinda know

Not only she has a cunt!,,

She s not all about babies

That was ur first thought

Initially

By u I mean media

If u r the media take it to heart

So – she s a woman- she s gonna be nicer to the children

She may hang less innocent babies

Nope

In this case Teresa may have decided to go through with the operation

The extinction of female vaginas in the east

Some sort of generic mutilation

Not only that

Wont stop at the vaginas

She ll take the dogs as well

In any case

With the this and the that

Back to the same old conclusion

A terrorist threat leaked and said

Mind u

There are only a few hundred politicians

U run in the millions

Media and that

Hurrah!!

8 10 16

sometimes u

Sometimes u find urself in a relationship that doesn’t deserve u

U approach the limitations

U pass them

And then of course it fails u like u knew it would

That is ur own attachment to ur impression of how the other person should be

Not to fail u

And then they do

It goes both ways I believe

U also fail the other person in ur own way

If the break up is mutal

In my case I see that I blame myself for knowing all that and still lettin it unfold until it does

I m sure there were good moments

I m sure I got something out of the relationship

I made myself disposable to the other person too

Very yogi

Very unappreciated very often

Very

It s just humbles me

How fascinating life is

Really

U win some u lose some

Stay with the feel

The introduction

This is just u in special moments

And u always had good moments with the people u break up with

It s fine

It s hard to remember and hard to forgive but u know they r there

And I m sure they were worthit

And I m sure they were more than the bad moments

U decide where to draw the line and for which particular reasons

It s fair enough

It s hurtful

When it s a boyfriend it s kinda standard I guess

Or is it

When it s a soulmate u kinda devastated

Things don’t last tho

Remember that

The worse depression can last for hours

But we re here and we r though it and we r all alive

Is it too heavy on a Sunday

Bank holiday Monday 2 5 16