a scary halloween

So I was saying

A scary Halloween

Soe days are better than others jonathan ross would say

Too big

It can never be too big – it can be too shallow

It s all right u know

I woke up with xxx in my bed

It was a very physical dream I wouldn t say it was a dream dream

It was real and on some level it happened

uninvited

And uninhibited

He was in bed and he was married as he is and we both knew

And we generally did things

You know

It s a tricky one trying to have sex without falling in love

But it was that and it was very real kinda hyperreal

I wasn’t there wholeheartedly

As I wouldn’t be under the circumstances

Under the circumstances

And the duvet

And a nice cup of tea

I d fuck anyone

But today I was goin for a coffee so I didn’t wouldn’t I m bored of writing for you guys

I wanna be writing for me and I m fuckin hating it at the moment I m hating it

I ve dissociated from myself I ve read my book on the tube it wasn’t me

It s funny cos at least I got three but this bit wont satisfy me

I m losing myself

My self

My beautiful self

Weird people

The guy getting naked in my livingroom

How sly ridiculus and discusting

I ll have Cameron

I mean

His top was there and sweaty and I had no where to touch

And then he span on my pole

And he was just hanging there and I wanted to scream or cry get out

Fuck you

And he brought me a bowl of bowels from the charity shop

I am looking at it right now

I bet that someone has shat in it

I would

A transparent bowl of shit

Soup

Fff

xxx was here was nice

I still don’t know what possessed me that day in Clapham

Ok Brixton

I m looking for an excuse already

But

Her butt was in the air I m not crazy

I guess she has that attention thing

And I understand trying to charm people

Legs in the air shit happens

But

Anyway

With this and that you know when a situation endures or it shits itself

I am definitely nicer

I wouldn’t say I m stupid but I m a bit less grabby

It s ok

It s a flavour in my favour

Not anyone can be as less grabby as me and still get it

It s just cos mostly there s nothing to get

Nothing to go on about

Russel brand yes I was in Cambridge and he was in Cambridge

And we didn’t meet and I m gutted am i

Well

I would have seen the show

Said hello

I still cant believe it

Why is that

How strange how very strange yes it is a strange coincidence

What could that mean

That I wasn’t ready

My book wasn’t ready

Now it is

We ll see how it is when we get it…

We can google lulu and see if you can order with the minimum thingy cos I think it s the same price

It is isn’t it

Yesyes

Let s see

I ll check today

If you can buy it for free off lulu with no added shipping costs that would be great

Yesyes

Let s see

Give it until next week and then u ll know eventually J it ll be fine done and dandy

Yes and maybe hire a book promoter? Is there such thing?? That s right!

Word of mouth

Yesyes

Let s see

I m in bed and I m playing ill cos it suits me

Cos I am ill

And see it should be fine but

I mean

I don’t know

I only have one yoga mat and I need in fact two more

I have one more for me and I ll ask xxx if she has one

J

Yeyyey- also approach people for surreal workshop in venice??

Do u think??

It was fine u need to do it again

i always feel like that

I always feel like that

Do i?

I d0ont know u know= my dad, I miss him, and what I want to say

I m goin on a holiday without him

I love my dad

And I m going to venice

I wish he was there to protect me

From the wolves

From skintness

He is there to protect you and he feels bad cos he failed you

He failed to provide you with lots and lots of money

And make you really rich

He did fail

In a way

But on the other way I ve written this book

Which is in fact a tribute to creativity

Bless

Up ur own ass

Bless

But shallow as it may sound and why not I d like to be healthy when I m rich

And beautiful

It s not shallow

After all

#i m facing cancer

The fear of cancer

The threat and I overheard a conversation about long term stress blah blah

And I know I got it

I need sex therapy and quick

And my last boyfriend could not provide that

And that is what I would like us to stick with

So then

Darling

What was that about

A girl called darling apparently something s going on and I learnt from xxx

The realisation that one friendship may perhaps be doomed

But we are over it

I didn’t wanna know

The fuck

As in like didn’t fuckin wanna know

The whore

Which one

Darlington

Fuckssakes anyway is she getting it that’s what I wanna know

And why my computer is putting comas in the bitches cunt

And shit

And anyway if touretes is the way to go about it

I m up for the stakes and m stoned and m lonely but not lonely tho init

#inintlove

What baotu maokjaowkjeodfjdif

Akjdfokiew7

f-we9uw

kmewokdms#

mokj0woe7k

 dokjsofku9ijk

kjokiuiejw

ds

kye

s

it makes perfect sence

s

ph I ve detached from my own writing

fuck

#

M

Ok

Lets focus on selling the first book then cos that s bound to be a disappointment

No cant say that

I even nearly couldn’t the line had to change

Responded

Alive

Take those comas

For real

Mm in venice in a dead mother fuckers apartment

With bread and butter

Lookin at the sun rising

And feeding the wolves and the pigeons

By the square

Square by the square

And praying and paying monotony

Mm

Paint a better picture

What the fuck am I gonna do

What

Am I gonna have presumably some money

At least

Yes and then what

I ll play monotony

Monopoly

With the sun slue and sky

Who is slue and why is it a word

I ll goggle it

1. slue

Mysterious term that came into inconsistent spoken usage and started appearing as graffiti (toilet walls, arenas, game arcades, etc.) in Atlantic Canada--particularly central Newfoundland--sometime in the mid to late 1970s, and had virtually disappeared by the mid 1980s.

Its meaning is not precisely clear; it may have referred to a morally loose female (as it does in other contexts), but there is also evidence of a more esoteric or person-specific meaning. It was nearly always spelled in capital letters, suggesting an anagram or, more likely, an acronym for some presently unknown term or phrase. The word was particularly associated with young fans of the more aggressive and/or occult genres of rock music, and there is reason to believe that it originated in the (former) military and airport town of Gander, Newfoundland--a community strongly associated with devout rock fans in the late 1970s/early '80s.

The word 'Slue' (or 'SLUE') is not believed to have had a regular, grammatically consistent or logical usage in common speech, yet seems to have served as more than merely a marker or qualitative term typical to most graffiti.

2. Slue

A DJ from Gander Newfoundland.

Slue can commonly be seen getting belligerent with the by's (havin a time) at local bars.

Slue has been a DJ at many clubs around Newfoundland, and has sponsored many acts to come to Atlantic Canada.

Slue is also the webmaster of crateconnect.net

Slue got some sick mixes

3. Slue

another word for the vulgar word "Slut", however is used with people who are not worth adding the "T" sound to the end. This word is used for people who arent worth your time.

can also mean a slut having flue.

Corrina is such a slue!!

I think Melona is gonna become a slue pretty soon

4. Slue

Saying goodbye.

A farewell.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow"
"Alrite man, slue!!

Spelt Slue or Slew

5. Slue

A combination of a slut and a hoe, instead of saying "she's such a slut and a hoe" you say "She's such a slue!"

Miley Cyrus looks like a slue!

6. slue

a slutty girl, usually used with dirty

shut up you dirty slue

by http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=slue

slue ¹ also slew  (sl)

v. slued also slewed, slu·ing also slew·ing, slues also slews

v.tr.

1. To turn (something) on an axis; rotate: slued the swivel chair around; sluing the boom of a crane.

2. To turn sharply; veer: braked and slued the car around.

v.intr.

1. To turn about an axis; pivot.

2. To turn or slide sideways or off course; skid.

n.

1. The act of sluing.

2. The position to which something has slued.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/slue

be clear on cancer

I will not abandon my child

What s that about

And why my eye is poping

And shit

And great winer spectacular

And what am I doing for xmas

What am I doing for xmas

What

God knows

What I ve done every xmas

Trying to hide

Trying to stay alive

Tryin to survive and get by

Well

Now

This xmas is gonna be different

Why

Cos I ll be promoting my book

Busy

No I want to

See my mum and dad

How do I not want to push them with my money shit

How

And how I do it don’t i

Don’t i

eisai fumatikos

Can u  die somewhere else please

Can u at least move a few fuckin seats behind u so u r alone all alone

I don’t know#i

I cough as well but this now I on a whole new level

Fuck off

Cough off

Haha

Shall I offer u my tissues

Honestly I feel sick

Can u fuck off u and ur fuckin germs

And I m sorry

Am I being cruel

It s a tough coach ride

I ll text shitback to blah blah

And anyway

Lets think of sex will lessen te atmosphere

Yes so company xxx it l be like this

Foot massage

For the clients

Fiver per five min

Foot bitch or sthin

Foot love

Foot love is the simplest most effective

Go check the film out

And ask mum and dad for an advance payment

I m sorry mum and dad but I got to resolt to you

Yes sorry

Yes pay me the whole lot if you like

So we can have it all now and every first please makes more sense

Does it I don’t know someone wants to read my poets

I don’t know about that

I mean it s a bit personal isn’t it

I mean

I m a bit nervous

I mean

I ll show him the old stuff or the new stuff or what

Or what

Oh dear oh dear

I m schocked

Shocked

Tararara

Maybe the old stuff yes

Mm

Interesting

Anyway lets see what happens

I mean

Like ther s no tomoro

Kill me

Kill bill

I m nervous now cant concentrart

Concentrart

Nervous energy

Like there s no tomoro

This will kill me

And the fact is the cough is getting nearer

And I m getting it

Un polished material whatsoever

He s getting it

Live

X

2 2 14