i think maybe

The problem is loneliness

If  people s taxes were going to underdeveloped economies blah blah

If if if

Then

I don’t know it would be safe like living in a village

I just met a cool boy

And another cool boys two arrived

And it all felt like Christmas

I told them they are angels

And they told me I m very nice

They re too young to get fucked with- maybe

But

They are doing a good thing

And that needs to get acknowledged

They sit there smelling of scunk

And they remind me of the good old days of belongingness

Thing is I never really fitted in

It was always me against the world

But I was the addition

I was what these un cultured societies needed

Haha

So vain so intelligent dear

U cant say anything these days

Thing is ye

I mean

Whatever

What do u recon?

There s people I like and respect

There s people I like and appreciate and they hurt me during the last week

It could be the people or it could be a prickly situation

I generally feel quite battered

And obviously the internet is slow

And I m going to Greece tomoro and I have just over a tenner how why don’t ask

I don’t know If I can get a cheap bus or buy a ticket online that is stressing me out

Or so it should

Yes it does

And generally I ve been around here hovering most of the day

What do u do

No where to go

No where to be seen

I enjoy this city

I wish I had more friends to share my time with

I did in theory want to work

And I didn’t want to spend any money

That s why people go to work at the first place

I haven t got a studio

I would like to have a place where mainly artists and activists go only activists in fact

And they generate ideas make campaings drink have a smoke

Yes yes

It s called community

Yes

I haven’t got that

Well I can focus on things I do have

I have a nice time with xxx today as he says some brilliant things online

I have a rough time with xxx

I am sad and bitter and know better

I thought he could make me happy I thought I was

Until he kissed me

Oh fuck

Its annoying some people can just do that

And I wonder how

How and even why they get it so right

No that was new level

Fuckin loved it

Remember xxx

I like xxx s face

I d like to fuck it

Haha

I love his voice

And what else

His laugh

I d like to show him on fb

That I love him and I want to see him and I want to marry him

Ha

Yes yes

And maybe thing is the genes

He looks like his dad

Do u think his mum was really hot

I do

I always thought that

Did he tell me

I only thought that cos he fancied me so much

And he s got taste

And you know men go for a girl that looks like their mum

No?

It s kinda past that now

I love someone else

I love someone that doesn’t love me back

At least for the moment being

I think I d be fine with it

Him

But I probably underestimate myself

The power of i

Or we

We

That could be good

We could be a start

I only wanna see u if ur with xxx

Yes only

That s right only

I only

Cos he s fun and I wanna get to know him better

Hes probably boring

No

Bitter

I like how serious he is about his band

I don’t understand him

And what he s trying to do

To me he had it

He had London

He was the most outrageous band

Literally

But

He s giving up he s reforming he s trying to do what xxx told him as she is his main sponsor

She believes in him

But she believes in a version of him which is not him

Is him sold

Is him reformed soulless dressed in clothes from zara

Who gives a shit

I met him with tyrqoize shorts]

What is this now

A new xxx

Chased

I don’t like it

Him

And I don’t like what he s doing

Straight from work as xxx put it

Funny

Sigh

So lets go

I ll tell him that

I would if he answered my calls

Or if he wore my jacket

Or if he replied to my texts

Or if he flys me to the moon

And back

Or if he

Deserves to listen

But we are all one

And I have an idea

I have lots

I have too much time on my hands you could say

Interestingly fascinating

I have mites

Not

I have fungus he said

He said

He is like god

God like

Haha its all too ridiculus for one day

I m not xxx saying

It s ridiculus

We need to see them for what they are

Our actions our impact

This is a classic lack of assertiveness and loss of power

What do u do

Well fuck it

In any case

I don’t know

It didn’t seem like much apparently

Apparently people can fuck in this city and not give a fuck

Fuck this shit=y

I don’t think so tho

I m not not gonna like London cos of what it does to me

I m gonna change the impact

Re force it somewhere else

Good girl

I m doing it

I m travelling/ well-

I m going home

I m also meeting new people doing new things- watching a film/ well

Anyway I could today if I wanted go to bow and use the sauna

For egsample

Maybe I should

Well maybe I will

Why not??

Maybe that’s what I need today actually

It will take the cold away

Give me a better skin

If possible

And I could use my time to relax and reflect

I need a bathing suit

I could go home and get it

I could also check for tickets for Gatwick by bus for cheap

I could

And I shall

And as of xxx

I don’t know what to say

He ll get round

They all do

Just look at the story

I can tell him off then

And spank him with passion

Or just snog another

I really hope I get some sort of resolution to my boyfriend position

So

It s full time

Well it can be

We can sleep together if that counts

It s only available if you are a good kisser

And I mean it

If your dick is a few inches long

I haven’t got a ruller at hand but I got one in my head

And another one in my mouth/ cunt

Terrible really

It is poetry for ya

Also ye

You got to be an asshole

A complete asshole

Not true but if that rings true u probably have issues with self esteem which I probably like

And I have as well

So it wont help anyone if we both got them still wont feel alone

Also

Big dick yes said that

Let me move on

Hahahhhaaaahaa

Do we ever move on girls>

I mean lets face it

Lets face the big dick catastrophe

If a guy has a big dick and is a great kisser

And we tried it and we liked it

Well

Lets see what do u recon

Do we

I can only think of one occasion where I don’t remember what happened

Well anyway

Back later

So then then

Enjoy your life in prison in isolation

I hope to see u soon under a bus

That is indeed terrible

Terrible

But u know I m hurting

And I don’t really mean it

Trying to take it back is making it worse#

May the force stop beneath you

Just in the bus in between the wheels

And u ll be home safe

#to me

Yes that is scary

Good bye for the now

And not the other way round

Tara

X

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