cam again

So why

I woke up this morning and I was thinkin about u

There was a time that ur all I could think about

It was one of the things of 2016

It happened

Eggs happened

Giraffes

Agents

No jobs

All

Crashed and burned

It s been a long year

A great year

How can anyone afford to be really mean

I got ur wallet

I got ur back

It ll be fine

I hear u sayin

It was a nice letter

The word kinda does it

It didn’t have to be like that

Swallow hard

Just a letter

So I m sitting at a café

Let s share

I appreciate life

I get it

Do u

Or do u just sulk

Am I judging

Is it a drama

To live without the person u love most

What I have done to my parents

What life did to u

I suppose

I don’t know

I believe u

Is it time to be sympathetic

Is that what it was about

It s always that

The empathy

The understanding

The acceptance

It ll be fine

The dismissal

The russel brown

The tony hard

The this an the that

Im in russel square

I m lyin

Im all right

Im playful

Im smiling

Im happy

I didn’t add the g

I did nothing

I love sex

I like love as well

It s an understatement

U can never find both

To my experience

My experiental habbit

Of experiencing

Ing

I mean I like a lot of sex

And when love

Ah

I don’t get it

It becomes something else

A means to an end

This is the thing

Sex without love Is just sex

And sex is enough to be without

That s how I feel it

Is that bad

Is it weird

Is it frown upon

I mean

What else do u want

Ur connected

For the love of god

How mis aligned are ur attachment patterns

And I mean what is love

A whole new story

Next of kin

But u r never gonna have sex with ur dad

So sex

To me

Is my only habit

My habitual environment

I don’t exist without it

I can t focus

I cant concentrate

Is it the same

It s disarming

Uninhibited

I can t do it

But with u

It s something I guess

Like an expression

A manifestation of love

And I like it

And I don’t like it

Cos It s more than sex u see

It s that little bit of extra

Tryin to be somehtin else

Tryin to be something that it s not

Cos it s not

Just sex

Is it

But I want it to be

It s my favourite habbit

It s a bubble

It s a pattern

Do I want it to be

Do I chase it

No

But I also like it simple

Is it less

I hear u sayin

Maybe

Perhaps

An analysis

Cultural analisis

Anal

So

It s like that

A good fuck

The ingredience

Inhibition

Judgement

Mode of creativity

Dash behavior

Dash somewhere else

How are u doin

Im diggin

Im dippin in

Im tryin

It s awesome

It s a habbit

It s a free falling

What else do u need

What else does anyone need

I wonder

When im fuckin

I really for the life of me wonder

How much better can it get

Can it occupy my soul

Or my spirit

Does it matter

Swallow hard

I mean it can be the one thing that turns u on

That fully occupies u

A mindful experience

A meditation

What else do u need

And where do u draw this from

Swallow hard

How much more can u tolerate

Compensate

Contain

Ur capacity

Is all im sayin

There s no way it s bigger

Wether u love the other person or not

If the sex is good

It doesn’t matter

That s it I said it

Ur turn

27 12 16

are you still in love with me

At times

When no one else has treated me like shit in.. a million years

Mm how do u deal with that

- is it a sitcom

Ashitcom?

Ashit.comashitcome

Okay come here

The misunderstanding

The negativity

The stress

I ll be a hooker

It s the only one thing that makes sense

How stupid and how obvious

And xyz will be my pimp

And we ll be fine\

And I ll be in love to xxx

That s how a beautiful/ busive relationships start

So what is what

If u want to abuse beauty

Get a job as an ekskafeas

Ekskafeas metaforon

I don’t know

The girl above

Below

I was jealous

Average

She s like what did u expect

If u went round u d be getting thirty an hour here thirty there

Yes

U play on that

The world

The reality

As it is

U dwell and that somehow gives u the right to continue

No fuck off

Create ur own reality

Create ur own rules

Don’t be an animal

Let urself be

Swallow hard

Be free

U want to offer me that much yes but don’t try to justify it

I ll say no because of principle

That s beauty

That s stupid

Yes

Might have been

Me havin that conversation with u might have been stupid

Follow ur heart it says

I can commit to a month in London

See it through

See it failing

It could be fine

As long as

I live for free

I have food

I train

And I write my book

Then meet an agent on January

And make it work

Make it happen

It s the project

The by product

Then I ll be fine

I can deal with that

Be in London once a week

On a Saturday

Lose my soul for eighty quit

I ll rub it in my ass and my vagina

Simultaneously

Call it a day

25 11 16

hello london

What if

They charged the coffee 70 quid

That was the original idea

Was now gonna say eighty

If u complain- it s eighty

There

Normal coffee

Nothing profound

I just ordered one

Didn’t really like it

I mean

Who knows

Could be

So when u r doin something delibaretly wrong

Like the world deliberate

Ur sabotaging everything

Which is good

If that s ur intention

Sabotage

Ruin

Whatever

Why are these words so negative

What is negative

A negative optimal background conclusion

How to fail spectacularly

Would be the title of my new book

It s been done

I hear u say

I don’t need ur help

But u do

U do it with guilt

Why don’t u celebrate failure

What is failure

An anxiety to succeed

That s success

Fuck success

Obviously

If u decide this is gonna be a huge fuck

Like

On the negative

A shit fuck

The elimitations are gonna disappear

Yep yep

I like it

I don’t know what a shit shag means

But I ve had some

And I didn’t plan them

And they felt like shit

Havin said that

If the plan was to have a shit shag

I would have succeeded

So what s the rush

I ve had them anyway

I like it here

Summerhall feels soothing

Xx, anonymus

Theres a hot guy

He works here

?

I emember him

U know I have memories in edinbra

U know that dog will do what u like for a cookie

And who doesn’t

That s who I m lookin for

Four by four

a different cookie

I m all right

Ye

I prefer it here

With out xxx

I couldn’t jump in a relationship to relationship

T

Remember that

 A guide to as uccesful relationsiT

Useful

Suck

Yeah

The year of the separation

They year of the breakup

Breakdown

I read somewhere

‘’a fragile mental state’’

An estate

Awesome

Could u say the same about me

Cos I m homeless

And cuntless

And I have no interest

At heart

Just an aubergene

Is that it\

Is that whyyyy?

Is my

it computer gonna correct me

Is it gonna live to know

It’s a suttle threat

And here is the coma

Of all the wrongs in this world

The coma is a megatronic asphyxiation

An oxygomoron

Like my ex

Ha

I can play chess

I can write stuff

Plan be

28 10 16

Always end on a positive

the break up call

Last nite I had the break up call

Long before

In advance

Ha

How silly

I believed in u

Well

Im lookin at four birds goin up and down the roof

To spectacular

Whatever signs u got

They r already there

So he wasn’t really listening

To that

Anyway

It was silly

And annoying

Like an echo

Like a conversation with no commitment

No connection

No joy

And no purpose

Well

So far so good

It was air

Fumes

It s all right

Its got to be done

Should I have been in a better mood

I would have enjoyed it more

I enjoyed fightning

In the end of the call I had lines on my face

I got scared

I looked old

So no

Not a good idea

On a different level

I felt it probably need to be done

Ye I m aware of the mistake above

It s conscious

Can u make a conscious mistake

Is it a mistake

No

It s a move

It s the wrong move

But if u take time to think about it in advance

Is it wrong

Or is it

28 10 16