blacks nite

Last Monday of the month

Jen is the curator:

Xx was the band

And since the internet I mean word is not responding

And since xxx is not responding

Even though I don’t know what the fuck happened

And I dare to say I don’t give a shit

But it s not normal

I feel robbed and confused

And I don’t think I should be made to feel like that

Fuck you xxx

And fuck you

Again

And I m afraid dare I say I will not

Are you alive

Are you fuckin dead

Are u a piece of shit

Why are u treating me like this

Are you in a coma

Are you my mother

Fuck you

Fuck you xxx

Fuck you

Fuck you

I am really angry at you and I am sure you are all right and I don’t know you but you ll come back with a sorry

And I ll have to turn my back

And nod my ass

And leave

And move on

Like nothing happened

Like life

Like this is just shit that happens

Every day shit

I have no signal where I am so I believe if you are trying to contact me now u wont be able to

But

To be fair

You should have tried to contact me a long time before now

So I don’t think I should go out of my way and out in the cold just in case

Or should i

I mean

What sort of a twat are you

The biggest sort

Fuck you

Dickhead

And you know

It s one thing being irresponsible

But we just fucked for fucks sake

Be a bit normal

Own up to the situation

I mean who the fuck are you to disappear

Who the fuck are you

The flying fuck

The worse kind

Fuck you motherfucker

And I m sorry but I m bored

Of second chances

Of second thinking

U fucked up

And I am sorry

On ur behalf

Nothing excuses what u ve done and I need to remember that

I am feeling like shit because of you

And this is it

I can not detatch from my emotions and I am close to tears

For what

For fuck s sake

For ur inability to communicate a simple fuckin message

Is this how my parens must feel

I do not want to have a vibrating phone for fucks sake

I do not

And I do

And I do not want one

I do not want a vibrating phone

And this is it

I want a simple nokia that can shut the fuck up

So in case this is deleted by my moody pc I ll have to copy paste it on an email

I could send it to you

Fuck you

Letter

Enjoy

Dick

There

#12 5 14

i need constant

I need constant cock supply

Or shall I say

I need consistant cock supply

And lemons

I ve taken sex down to a different level

And although I was looking xxx in the eyes yesterday

We had to have a distance I m loving this position

But in the closer distance I wasn’t loving this position

And you know

It was average

But the thing is

It s a test

Against the machine

I like sex it s been established

But

I need constant cock supply

I don’t like the idea of the whole freedom and availability

As I said

X

27 7 13

Yes and I ll keep coming

I want to have sex with xxx and look into his eyes when he s fucking me

And I cant help but feel a bit excited of the prospect

Is it bad

I ve always had that fuckin connection with xxx that somehow rings true on many levels of unavailablility un forgiveness forgiveness but the truth is

There is always someone else

I think there s more to that

I think there is a triagon

He probably never felt it but I did

And she did – xxx-

The thing is me and xxx shared a boyfriend for a while

And it was all right

Interesting

Maybe how it should be

But we were kept apart

And when we met

I think that it was one of the most unique moments in my life

Like when u meet someone s baby

Someone you love

It was really very special

We needed a hug or something

And I was with xxx

And xxx was very very nervous

And then we left

And you know it s funny how things turn out

Yesterday all I could think about when we were laying having sex was xxx

Fuckin bizzare

Is it though

It is this thing that re visits me

xxx fell in love with xxx

And xxx fell in love with xxx

But they were both fuckin me

And it s almost as if

I don’t know

Am devastated

And jealous

And I d like them to fall in love with me at least for the duration of the fuck

Its like somethings missing

Something s not right and I m working it out

What is it

I m not in love with them cos they re not in love with me

Or sthin

I m just intensely curious

What is it about other people that makes people fall in love with them but not me

It s a fuck I suppose

But a very interesting fuck

A very intense fuck

I am told I can offer

Yes I know

I can

I m magic

And xxx keeps saying that he only gets that with me that he can t fuck me and that he s constantly in the verge of orgasm

And he said that yesterday he said

I remember that with you

When I go near your pussy I can t I feel I m gonna come

Ok the last phrase was executed rather than shared in so many words

Thing is

I know why that is

I know it s me and how I feel and my mind is blocked with transforming energy

It s electric

It was the best glutes workout yesterday like a bridge with an uneven surface

Bring it on

Legs on the door

Lift your hips and pulse

Fuck me

And then he said

I m gonna come I think

And then I said

Well in that case

And we started fucking

And he came

And he said it was intense

And I said

Well

I –

Well –

With xxx sex was like that but better

Bigger cock

More comfortable position

But

Thing is I can kiss ian

But no penetration is rather frustrating although it did feel good

It will feel even better with the Italian guy

But for egsample

But everyone wants to fuck me

When it comes to bed

Experience is rather predictable

I do get my moment of being pissed off

Like yesterday

Xxx couldn’t fuck me in the precise moment that I could come cos he would

So he d wait and enter in a second and in a different angle

Fuckin frustrating

And ok the glutes workout was fun I felt it today

One of the best

And he said

I like the thought of you masturbating

He fancies me all right

He has that sexual fixation with me if I may say

He wouldn’t like to share me and he wouldn’t like to lose it over me fuckin one of his mates

Xxx

I know

I think they had this thing

And he knows I m a bit hm dubious dodgy and curious lets say

And I d fuck xxx yes I probably would

Just as he reminds me of xxx

I think I should

But I don’t want to play with his heart

Card

Or pay him back or get any sort of compensation

His trick is clear

He wants sex and polyamori and all

It s all right actually

That s probably why I like him so much

Cos he respects me

And he does treat me like one

And he sets the boundaries and he stays within

Yes he did say he was probably gonna get back with his girlfriend

That was before or after our first time

I don’t know

But I did leave a toothbrush

And he did probably thow it away

And you  know

Its this kind of psychological investment

Physiological

Swallow hard

Shallow hard

Yes and he did say

Oh you brought my jumper

Yes I remember the nite I felt like shit

When xxx was coming back

And when I said no that s it

And I went out with xxx

And he said well u smell of something

Well I smelt of xxx

His house and his scent

And I love his body scent

I can smell him and lick his armpits and it turnd me on

I fell so at home and possessed and positioned

Somewhere where I cant get out from

Somewhere safe

Held together nicely

And sometimes I dissolve

I melt on this bed and it s an experience

 I feel my hands really light and nearly clamped a bit like branches of trees

Where blood is now running smoothly and in an angle

Like a lake

Like you can see the blood cells one by one slowly one moving towards the other

But like in slow motion

And that s how I feel

And then I pull his hair or get a constant grip

Or bite him

More to assess the hard with the soft

To test that I can still hold on to something

That I m not gonna disappear

To test the strength against something

As I m falling apart

And it works and it feels so good

Ah

And for two days now there s a song in my head

We could have had it all

And I cant stop crying

Ce lavie

Lets see

You know what that means

X

27 7 13

Good fuck in france

full time lover

There is a position available for a full time lover

In my vagina

You need to be able to commit to at least two days a week with a day gap – so it would be

Sunday nite and Tuesday nite

And one possibility of an extra shift on Friday nite leading onto Saturday daytime-

Only some weekends

You need to be able to make me cum and make me laugh, be a great kisser and generally feel that I share similar views of the world and what s in it

I like tantric sex so it could be something we explore together

It is an exclusive arrangement so we are not fuckin around

You need to be able to buy your own condoms and treat me to a meal and a movie now and again

Only serious applications

Now go viral ;) oh and on the subject of virus, we don’t need aids tests as we are using a condom but if you have it and you know about it just let me know innit

yes whatever

Sad

I can have sad days

Just remember its gonna go

I held it together or relish my existence yesterday

It was a difficult situation

They both were

But I am learning

From my mistakes

And I relish my orgasms

Fair play

I suppose

Fuck it

It was a good fuck after all

I cried a little

Exquisite

Yes my computer corrected me

I didn’t want an e

I didn’t want the happiness

The afterfall

The aftercall

The aftermath

The afterglow

The afternoon in the sun

I was in venice beach and I look spectacular

It pretty much sums up all my personas

I would say lives

Live

Im feeling it

How do u know if I say live like the verb or live like the live

I ment to say live like the verb

Kill like the bird

The sunshine

I shared my vanilla milkshake with the seagals

That was a moment

I like to share

Babe didn’t bring me my cookies

He was a teenager after all

And he laughed weird

Narcissist

Fair play

He was all right

He asked me if I m all right

And he hang in there and he was kissing me

It was nice

I waited for him

He spoke to his cousin

He spoke about me

He couldn’t find a way to describe me and he did say comedie

He also said kinky

I suppose

We put the word addict in unwanted behaviour

I suppose

I suppose

I mean

Let s see

It s all right

I suppose

Where is that

I suppose

It s life

I suppose

I m now going somewhere with this bus

Somewhere I don’t know where

I suppose

Where could that be i suppose

I miss England

I suppose

My parents

I suppose

I saw a snake

I suppose

A monty python

I suppose

Tv on the busses

I suppose

U just know it came from here

I laughed with both boys

I suppose

And he said

I feel married

He said

I wont let myself get infatuated by you

Oh kei

I suppose

Flattering

I suppose

Nice to share

I suppose

Good word

I suppose

And he knew gibberish

Any resemblense of xxx kinda does it for me

I m in his city

I suppose

He said I d like LA

I suppose

I do

I suppose

He understands

I suppose

I d be writing

I suppose

Creative writing

I suppose

As opposed to

Yogurt

What do u need

I suppose

Senior citizen

I suppose

This youth hostel

It was a bar

Came within

He was quite impressive

I said I wanna do it like that

He said

All girls do

He was honest

They wont give a fuck

A right fuck

Most of them

Many of them

Not all of them

I m sure he can pull it off

He s pretty enough

And spontaneous

And assertive

He s all right

He s a go getter

A manipulator

A cunt

He was forced into honest discussion

Which wasn’t too difficult

But he didn’t bring the cookies

He could have brought the cookies

He should have brought the cookies

It s symbolic

It didn’t matter

But it felt like

I m a bit lost

Whatever

Where am I really

Where am I indeed

No fuckin idea

Let s hope the guy knows

Everything

La cienega is not too far

And there ll be a stop near

Lets see

I don’t know the time

But should be all right

I suppose

A matchmade in heaven

He s getting closer to his goal

And he needs an agent

He ll be fine

I suppose

He s got ninety thousand dollars

I suppose

To pursue his dream

Not that much

But enough

Like 50 grand

I suppose

I d do it again

I suppose

Still feel a bit robbed

I suppose

Decision making

I suppose

It s just that

I saw it

Even for five minutes

The absolut happiness

It was good

I suppose

I don’t think I d do it

I suppose

I mean

Sex was good

I suppose

You never know

I suppose

Let s see

I suppose

I don’t know

I suppose

It s fine

I suppose

Swallow hard

I suppose

I guess

January 16, 2015. 18.16

Could be anything

I suppose

Liquor store

As opposed to

Off license

Which are you

Liquor store sounds cheap

Off licence doesn’t make sense

It doestn

It never did

And it never will

So it must