fear

so
anybody likes to read that
i dont have skype and  dont understand how it can be so active
interesting
isnt it
on that note
can i give a bit of guidance
i m wearing a silk dress
scarf
nevertheless
my back s cold
i am leaning against an ancient wall
my friends in america would love it
i ll grab a chair
grab i said
that s soo american
yep am sitting down on a wet chair
that s so english
nevertheless
do u thnk
sofia is ever gonna love me
my little girl
do u love yourself
that much
u are
starting today
it seems a lot
to love
a lot of urself denied
in the history of years
but lately
u just go for it
u went for it
u ment it
it s not how u discovered
and it somehow wasnt rewarded\
it appears
it may appear
it s political
it does matter
cos it s conditioning
a million things happened nevertheless
u did karaoke
like there s no tomoro
ur biggest fear
of no tomoro
fulfilled
like a self fulfilling prophecy
can t google it
am i sayin it rght
don ma ah
russel brand
love you boy
i wanna follow ur footsteps
i already started listening to ur motivational tape
why is it important
for the rest of the world
cos i m part of it
thank you
i m probably in the list
of survivors
of there s no tomoro
ow now this woman started emptying the bucket
of my life
contains lime and sugar
some of my favourite smells
i m being silly
tryin to manipulate myself
trying to move myself from reality
and breath out
only exhale
how is that
a bit like life
sometimes
the thing is
it s the only thing that works
so what s stressing u out
it s money
essentially
and why have the taxes left me alone
why i dont understand
do u think they forget
they forgive
they dont give a shit
they do in the case of macdonnalds
and starbucks
and anyway
who gives a shit
i m goin to edinbrah
the case will disappear
will ceaze to exist
until may
until then
i ll be able to buy my own house
like there s no tomoro
today
until then
im in a flat in shropshire
not knowing what to do with myself
its life
its schizophrenia
it s that guy in russia
that s actually really good
he s passionate
and he s blunt with words
and creative\
and i love him
that much
he represents himself
like there s no tomoro
today
and i love him
for what it is
for what he was
wants
and what he represents
i love him because
he is himself
not some manipulated version of himself
to fit society
and what he wants
it s himself
it s him
and he speaks his mind up
and he s fuckin cool
and sexy
and i love him
and he s perfect
and i left a msg on his fb wall
and i m watching the ants
they r snogging endlessly
and theyr fascinating
they see the point
maybe
they r like chinese people
is work fun
are they artists
who knows
nobody knows
u like history
who s watchin the ants
psychiatrists
scientists
whos gonna tell us
somehow
that there s no tomoro
and they take pleasure on their depth
work
and it s really like that
they r not working like assholes
like there s no tomoro
today
dying
knowingly
that they were overworked and malnurished
cos they werent
cos that s nature
that s life
that s meditation
doin what u love
existing in a different realm
in a bubble
of no tomoro
today
and that making u happy
not cos u wanna die
but cos u r alive
there u go
ant
make me smile
x
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