its crazy n here

i m here
in the hackspace
in the heart of space
with a high sounding ventilator type of thing next ot me
is it gonna blow up
they said no
isnt it
it s like a hoover
the kinda sound that can make me cry
it can make me cry
i promised myself
that land
that trea situation
situated
in the trees
in the trees
in the trees
in the trees
in the trees
in the trees
i mean
are you fuckin kidding me
are you kidding me
are you
kidding me
are you
kidding me
are you
kidding me
am i havin a break down
a nervous break down
i might do
i may as well
who gives a shit
i m done
it s boring
i cant be close to the edge all the fuckin time
no one really gets it
no one really understands
how desparate i really am
i am fuckin desparate
i m crying with what s the name
lugmous
i mean
i dont give a fuck
i m breakin up
i m breakin down
i should contact someone
some guy asked me if i m okay
i told him yes i just like to do this right now
i like to do this
get the attention by crying
a cry for help
literally
i m dying
i m cryin
a hoover next to me
computer still being an ass
guy is still tryin to help
it s not helping
it s just makin it worse
i m not sure egsactly what to do
what s the insight
what am i expected to do
if you ve ever felt sorry for me
or if i ever made you laugh
or if you ever read my blog
and cried
and laughed
and if you like to give me any money for it
this is the time
i try to go to edinburgh and i booked accomodation - youth hostel bungle bed- and what else
i dont know what else
that s that
and i wanna do some comedy when i get there
so if you think i should
give me some money
click on the link
this is not a joke
it s as real as it gets
it s a form of fund raising
it s like that
i m panicking
i am shitting myself
it s horrible
i can t do it any more
i m in pain
and sorrow
and i m not sure what to do with myself
i ll have a cup of tea
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